They say we should face and conquer what challenges us. Franklin Delano Roosevelt famously said,
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Yet many of us are stuck from moving forward either because we are self aware of a particular fear and can’t purge ourselves of it or we have no idea why we can’t or even why we need to move forward, yet we are at the same time detecting discomfort with the status quo.
Let’s say we recognize attributes in ourselves that we just don’t like and wish them away? But they don’t leave us. They hang around like that guest who needed a place to stay for a week and six months later reminds you of Alan from Two and a Half Men. Or for instance many of us intuitively know we need to leave that job or pursue our dream but we don’t. We are stuck. We are being held back from personal liberation, true joy, fulfillment or love simply because this “thing” is holding us back and we often aren’t even aware of why.
Come on – you are reading this and you know yourself that you desire to change something in your life. You want to be happier. You want to increase your productiveness with your spare time. You want to fall in love or find that love again. You want to succeed at work. You want to be fit. You don’t want to cry so often. You want to reach out to that estranged family member. You don’t want to be angry at the slightest provocation. You don’t want to yell at your kids or your spouse. We all yearn for such peace and contentment in our lives.
I read a quote the other day that spoke to me so profoundly that I have to share it here with you. Some of you might have seen me post this on Facebook:
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” summersaldana.com
So how does one identify this thing? How does one un-become and then become what we are meant to be? I don’t have the answer I am afraid. We each must discover what is serving us well or isn’t. And just like the alcoholic or drug addict who cannot break down that wall of dependency until they acknowledge that they want to change their life – so must we.
What is working for me is that I am seeking knowledge of – well – me. No one can know and understand us more than us. It is Us vs. Us or Me vs. Me. That is our unique journey in life.
This morning I completed reading a book by a special friend Lisa Sugar entitled, Ten Days to Die – Ten Ways to Live, https://www.facebook.com/tenwaystolive/?fref=ts It is lovely tribute to her mother who I had the honour of knowing personally. I was especially drawn to Lisa’s Treasured Insight #4, “Ninety percent of what happens to you in your life is about your attitude towards the event and only ten percent is about the event itself.”
I think the greatest lesson in Lisa’s grief inspired words was identifying what is holding us back. Is it a fear of someone or something else or the uncertainty of uncovering our true essence? Do we blame others for where we are or are we ready to take responsibility for our own lives? I think we all understand the question. The answer can be found.
Wow, this reached me at the right time. Especially the ‘unbecoming’ thought, which I feel intuitively but haven’t been able to express. What I’ve become is like a shield I’m reluctant to drop – but I’m as afraid as I am curious about what happens without it.
You are in a unique position. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We also intuitively allow those closest to us to fully know us – foibles and all. Accept that and embrace it. We do.